Blog 8
1st August 2024
Domestic Violence. This has been a buzz word since ancient times. Everywhere we hear about domestic violence.
What is Domestic Violence and why is it becoming an overwhelming factor?
Ban Ki moon, United Nations Secretary General, 2007, Said
"Violence against women continues to persist as one of the most heinous, systematic and prevalent human rights abuses in the world. It is a threat to all women, and an obstacle to all our efforts for development, peace, and gender equality in all societies."
How are we as caregivers helping those who are living in Domestic Violence/Abuse within the family to begin with? Usually when we talk about domestic violence we immediately think of women in abuse. Often there is no mention of men as victims of ‘Domestic Abuse’. The Number of Male Domestic Abuse Victims Is Shockingly High — So Why Don’t We Hear About Them? As we hush the abuse among women we also hush the abuse among men across the world. We are ashamed to talk about men being abused by girlfriends, wives and mothers. They also feel ashamed, laughed at and mocked that they are being under the woman's thumb. Thus many might not come out openly.
However, few do acknowledge that men are also victims of domestic abuse. How true!
On the other hand we also need to look at the perpetrators of domestic violence why they are doing it and what are the causes so they can also be helped.
Domestic Violence or abuse is not an issue in only one country or in developing countries but It is an issue across the world. No matter which part of the globe one comes from, domestic violence exists in different forms. It has to be addressed and not swept under the carpet.
In general, how common do you think that Domestic Violence against women is in my family, society, community, culture and in my Country?
It has various forms: sexual assault, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and economical abuse. It also comes in the form of harassment or bullying. It is a pattern and not an isolated event. It has a higher rate of repeat victimisation than any other type of crime.
It is an uphill task to unveil the fears, hurts and trauma of children, women and men.
Often abuse is endured for years till the victim comes to a point of seeking counselling and help from the legal system.
Few symptoms to look for: Injuries to the hands, neck, head, face, chest, abdomen and genitals, or a history of miscarriages, multiple bruises, burns and scars in different stages of healing, headaches constant complaints of not feeling well, using lots of alcohol, medication, difficulty in concentration, unable to sleep, withdrawal or going into isolation. Not willing to see friends, colleagues and neighbors, mood swings, suicidal attempts, frequently away from work place, social gatherings where they were frequently present, signs of anxiety and stress etc.
Victims are too embarrassed to talk about abuse out of shame and fear so they try to act normal and live in denial that everything is fine. They are also dependent financially so they remain in abusive relationships.
Many times it is shocking to see the pain and trauma on those who are going through domestic violence. There is much to talk about regarding this issue and how one can help and counsel the victims of domestic violence.
To help them in the process, caregivers need to build trust and understanding to talk about pain, injury on their mind and body.
As a caregiver or counsellor, are we addressing domestic violence? Are we talking about these issues? Are we acknowledging the occurrences of violence at home, outside and helping the victims? OR ARE WE KEEPING MUM?
Pramila Rajendran
Need to talk? | Contact Miila Consulting
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